L
aura was a first year
university student when
I met her in the hospital
emergency room. She had
slashed up her arms with the bow of
her violin. She told me it was not a
suicide attempt, but rather an act of
desperation to cope with her feelings
of exhaustion and anxiety.
As a child, Laura was a star
student excelling in academics and
music, and she spent a lot of time in
those activities. Laura’s mother solved
many of her problems for her and
protected her from everyday stresses,
such as doing chores, because she
didn’t want to interfere with Laura’s
success in winning awards and
medals. Things changed around
the age of 16, when Laura began to
have trouble with a curriculum that
required critical thinking, creativity
and collaborative group projects.
Once in university, things became
much worse and Laura admitted to
me that she slashed her arms after she
cheated in an English assignment that
she was at risk of failing.
Real life
Laura’s story is not unique. I have seen
it countless times. In my 12 years of
supervising medical students, interns
and residents, as well as in my own
patients, I have witnessed first-hand
a disturbing trend among the youth.
Some are “
crispies
”— students who
have been “working” since they
were four years old. Children who,
by age 19, are so burnt out that their
passion, purpose and problem solving
are charred to a crisp. Others are
“
teacups
”— bubble-wrapped by their
parents to never experience any
hardships. These students are so fragile
that they’re prone to break the moment
they encounter the first obstacle that
can’t be fixed by their parents.
Crispies
and
teacups
are risk-averse,
exhausted, stressed and rigid – exactly
the opposite of what young people
should be as they embark on their
intellectual journeys. For many
whose grade point averages, test
scores and achievements in specific
extracurricular activities are high,
social skills, life skills, coping strategies
and creative problem-solving skills are
lacking.
Crispies
and
teacups
are unable
to adapt, think on their feet, cope with
real-life stress and solve unanticipated
problems. After one of my own
academic lectures to university
students, a brave young student told
me what I already knew. “A lot of us
kids these days are too tired or stressed
Shatterproof !
No parent wants their child to grow up to become a burnt-out
‘crispy’ or a fragile ‘teacup’, so how do we nurture adaptability,
resilience and self-motivation in our children?
Dr Shimi Kang
has
some refreshingly straightforward advice.
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