only is this illegal, but it is also a
recipe for disaster.
This is not to say that a glass of
wine over a family dinner is going to
send your child into a life of alcoholism.
However, allowing your kids to get
high and party with their friends under
your supervision is a different story
and can lead to an abuse pattern –
and by allowing it to start under your
supervision, you’ll have inadvertently
offered your stamp of approval.
Learn the signs
How do you simultaneously disapprove
of substance use while keeping lines of
communication with your teen open?
If your adolescent doesn’t share much
about their day, how do you make sure
that they aren’t using?
First, you need to know the signs
of substance use. Use your senses:
•
Smell:
Sniff for cigarettes or pot on
their clothes and hair, or alcohol on
their breath.
• Sight:
Look to see if you child’s eyes
are dilated in bright light. Notice
if they spend the day(s) after a late
night out seeming depressed.
• Hearing:
Listen for conversation
about drugs and alcohol, such as
talking about others’ use.
• Touch:
Continue to use affection
to check in with how your teen
is doing emotionally. Hugs and
cuddles shouldn’t be relegated
to the younger years. Staying
emotionally integrated with your
teen is a protective factor against
substance use.
I recommend seeking professional
help at the first sign of trouble.
Learn about the current culture
of drug use and keep the lines of
communication with your teen open.
In training new therapists to work
clinically, I routinely use a saying that
one of my supervisors used years ago:
You need to be able to talk about the
tough stuff like drugs and sex like you
are talking about ice cream. Your kids
will smell your fear. Practise these
conversations with your partner or
a friend before trying them out with
your child.
While there are drug-testing kits
that you can buy, I generally advise
against using these unless you are
already on a programme to monitor
use. Instead, talk with your teen about
drugs. Learn about how drugs function
and the harm they cause together.
Don’t just assume your child’s school
will take care of drug education. Use
often happens between school and
I recommend
seeking professional
help at the first sign
of trouble.
December 2014
79
