“I’m sorry” to your child can teach
them values and morals. When a child
hears those words, they learn about
empathy, acceptance and forgiveness,
and they can understand that making
mistakes is normal.
6
Fun and play
Don’t forget to just have fun and
play. I say the messier the play is, and
the more sensory based it is, the better.
Be non-verbal and get involved with
all the fun that your child experiences.
If your child is painting, paint too. If
your child is playing with the ball, join
in. If your child is on the trampoline,
get on it and jump.
Forget all those left brain extra-
curricular activities during the
weekend that are cramming up your
child’s day and mind! Just play instead.
If children are given the opportunity
to play, their little minds will be freer
and more open for a full week of
“effective” learning at school.
7
Affirmation
When you focus on the positives
you can leave your child feeling
positive, worthy and loved, which can
boost their self-esteem. When a child
feels loved, they are more open to
communication, which is crucial for
developing strong parental bonds.
One way that you can strengthen
your bond with your child is to use
“specific praise”. This can be done by
focusing on the technique, method or
feeling that was used by the child. For
instance, when your child is drawing
a picture, you can pick up on your
child’s facial expression or drawing
technique rather than the picture itself
and say, “I could see you smiling when
you drew your picture and you held
the pencil really well”.
8
Reflect and respond
As a parent, you can give your
child the chance to emotionally grow,
and to feel validated and understood,
by actively listening to their child.
When a parent can listen, reflect and
respond, the child feels acknowledged,
heard and accepted. Listening has a
powerful effect on the child, leaving
them feeling loved and validated.
When you are with your child,
ensure that you maintain good eye
contact and facial expressions. Make
sure that you are neutral and have a
calming tone when communicating
with your child. Be open, positive,
warm and friendly.
Use reflective talk with your
child to ensure that they feel heard,
understood and validated. This can
be done by simply acknowledging and
reflecting what your child has said
and done, (e.g. “I’m tired”; Reflection:
“You’re tired”) as well as reflecting
any feelings that surface for the child.
It is simply repeating what your child
has said and done without copying it
exactly.
9
Acceptance
Chidren can come home from
school in a number of different
emotional states. They could be
annoyed, happy, excited, angry,
disappointed or upset, for instance. It
is important to accept your child as
is, no matter how they are feeling or
responding. By accepting every part of
them, the good and the bad, you can
really help your child feel that deep
feeling of being loved no matter what.
Reflective talk can also be a useful
tool to help defuse a difficult situation.
For instance, a child may turn up
feeling angry and you can use the
reflective technique, instead of getting
fustrated which will just cause more
struggles in the relationship.
10
Say it
Sometimes we just don’t
verbalise it enough. Don't take your
feelings for granted – you should
express them with words. Just say
those three little words, ‘I love you’.
Nikki Guy is a play therapist and parent-
child attachment play specialist at Acorn
Family Wellness Center.
February 2016
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