Prepare to be amazed! I am about to reveal
the inner workings of a new mother’s mind and
show you and every other new dad or dad-to-
be how to read it, too, promises
Orla Breeze
.
advice
(rated PG)
B
elieve me, mind-reading is
exactly the superpower you’ll be
willing to give your right arm, left
arm and possibly both your legs
for as soon as the baby comes home.
Those of you who have already crossed
the bridge to parenthood are nodding
wisely as you read this. You know it’s true.
The ability to mind-read at a time
when your partner may not have the
wherewithal to think clearly will enable
you to fulfil a need that spontaneously
arises when you become a father – the
need to protect and support your brand
new family. In order to achieve this, you’re
going to have to know what to do at any
given time, which can be pretty tricky
when your partner-in-crime is dealing
with challenges from all directions. The
good news, however, is that having been
a new mum and a second-time mum
and a third-time mum, I know exactly
how it feels to be in her shoes and I’m
willing to share this behind-the-scenes
info with you. Pay attention, I shall say this
only once!
First things first. She’s just been through
a physical marathon like nothing you
have ever, or will ever, experience.
Pregnancy ain’t what it’s cracked up to
be. Those ideas you have of how easy it
must be because it’s so commonplace?
Yeah, I had them too. And guess what?
They’re wrong. I’ve been through three
of them and I still find it hard to find the
words to accurately describe the whole
process, although exhausting, arduous
and painful spring to mind! The upshot is
that her body is going to be in a state of
physical recovery at a time when she’ll
be required to get to work immediately.
Now that you know this, be her body
guardian. Listen out for repeated
complaints about pain or discomfort
that don’t seem to be going away. Make
her an appointment with a physio if
necessary. Ensure her body gets taken
care of. Like most new mums, she’s highly
likely to put herself at the bottom of her
list. Your job is to place her nearer the top.
On top of the physical strain, she’ll
also be under mental stress; both of you
will. The early weeks are a steep learning
curve where you’ll absorb a mountain
of information on a daily basis. This will
add to the sleep-deprived tiredness you’ll
both already be experiencing. Just bear
in mind that for her, it’s all sitting on top of
the physical tiredness of labour and birth.
Help her out by jumping in with both
feet. What tasks can you take on? If she’s
breastfeeding, make bath time your daily
task. If she’s doing the night feeds, take
on the night time nappy changes. Share
the load. Learn together.
And finally, hormones don’t just
disappear when baby arrives. They hang
around for a while playing a great ol’
game of havoc with her feelings. Now
add those emotions to the physical and
mental pressure and what do you get?
Tears. Lots of them. So here’s where
you’ll do your best mind-reading work.
Whenever the tears flow, explain to her
why they’re flowing. Remind her that
anyone going through the same would
be doing exactly the same. Even you.
And that it’s all just temporary. We all
went through it and lived to tell the tale.
And that will allow her to stop worrying
and you to be the greatest protector,
supporter and mind-reader she could
ever have hoped for.
Job done, Super Dad!
How to read your
wife's mind
18
