says, “Guests should not wear red,
as the colour represents the luck,
happiness and fortune of the new
bride. Traditionally, guests were also
expected to avoid wearing white,
blue, black and green; however,
there are fewer taboos around this
nowadays.”
To cover the cost of their meal,
guests traditionally give money in a
red envelope (
lai see
)
as a wedding gift
to the couple. According to Sonya,
“
Amounts should be no less than $800
per person and should include even
amounts of bills, but not the number
four, as it symbolises death. Including
the number nine within your
lai see
is
good luck as the pronunciation means
‘
long and forever’.”
Lilian Tang and her British
husband married in the Seychelles
just over ten years ago. The couple
had a civil ceremony and, in order
to please Lilian’s parents, customary
hair-combing and tea ceremonies.
Whilst her parents are not entirely
traditional, they do expect guests to
follow wedding gift protocol.
“
Gifts that symbolise death or
the end of relationships should not
be given to the couple. These include
clocks, towels, pointed and sharp
objects, gifts in black or white or sets
of four,” says Lilian.
Indian weddings
Natasha Mahtani Mohinani had a
traditional four-day Hindu wedding
in Mumbai, India. Events included
engagement, mehendi (henna), sangeet
(
dance) and reception parties, prayer
and wedding ceremonies. According
to Leongwoo, you should never refuse
or throw away the blessed sweet food
called “karah prashad”, which is
typically served at Sikh and Hindu
weddings. You should accept it sitting
down with cupped hands.
Whilst each wedding will differ
based on the religious beliefs of the
couples, most Indian weddings include
hundreds of guests partying for a
week, or longer. You may, therefore,
require more than one “bling” outfit
to see you through the festivities.
You may choose to wear Indian
clothes or the Western attire that
would be appropriate for a dressy
wedding. The rule to remember is
that modesty matters for the temple
ceremony. Avoid plunging necklines
and short hemlines, especially given
that you may be required to sit on the
floor. You may also need to cover your
head at the temple. “A dupatta, or
scarf, has many uses, such as covering
your head, bare shoulders or that
plunging neckline,” advises Hardeep
Jandu, Hong Kong representative for
Meena Bazaar, one of India’s premier
Indian clothing providers for women.
Whilst the colours black and
white are associated with funerals
and mourning, guests can wear either
colour if their clothes are “festive
looking,” explains Hardeep. “The
more discerning female guest will still
avoid wearing a shade of red, which is
the traditional bridal colour.”
There are three little words
that are likely to appear on many
an Indian wedding invitation: “No
gifts, please.” However, this doesn’t
mean that you should turn up empty-
handed; rather, you are expected
to give money to the bride and
groom. With hundreds of guests in
attendance, the couple will have a
hard time figuring out where to store
multiple toasters and photo frames.
Money is therefore considered to be a
useful gift.
“
Whatever the amount of money
given, it should always be given
in uneven amounts, ending in the
number ‘one’, which signifies good
luck. The money is presented in a
decorative coloured envelope,” says
Hardeep.
A note of warning if you are asked
to give a speech at an Indian wedding
that is likely to include numerous
conservative relatives and family
While Chinese weddings may
incorporate many traditions,
such as the tea ceremony
where the couple kneels and
serves tea to their elders,
these events are for family
members only.
February 2013
49