Protecting children
New measures in Hong Kong aim to serve the interests of children whose parents are divorcing.
It is an unfortunate reality that divorcing parents may become embroiled in their own conflicts and lose sight of the best interests
of their children. Legal battles over custody issues can take years to resolve, and, sadly, children are often used as weapons
between warring parents.
To ensure that parents focus on their children’s well-being, the Hong Kong Judiciary has recently introduced the Children’s
Dispute Resolution. As of October 2012, family judges now act as conciliators to help couples resolve their parental disputes
before proceeding to a formal trial.
Rita Ku, a Hong Kong-based partner with the law firmWithers, which was recently named Matrimonial Law Firm of the Year
for the second consecutive year by
Asian Legal Business
,
issued the first application under this scheme in November 2012. As a
lawyer specialising in matrimonial law, Rita says:
“
The role of the judge is not to rule, but to sit down with parents, narrow down the issues and work towards a compromise,
before the trial. Each parent is now required to complete and file a children’s form, known as the J form, which requires detailed
information on areas such as their children’s current living arrangements, education, holidays, activities and the parent’s hopes
for the future. The form helps each parent understand the other parent’s case in a constructive manner and gives the judge a
better insight into the family’s circumstances before making a judgment.”
She continues, “Under this scheme, children can now express their own views and be represented by a solicitor. This is
important for children who are concerned about the consequences of the divorce, such as whom they will stay with, and issues
related to relocation and education.”
According to Rita, parents who are entirely focused on what is best for their family may wish to consider an out-of-court
approach known as “collaborative practice”. Depending on the couple’s issues, the collaborative teammay consist of family
lawyers, financial advisers and health professionals, all working together with the parents to reach an amicable settlement.
“
Collaborative practice can be a highly effective, non-confrontational method of resolving parental disputes in a timely fashion
and without causing further distress to children,” says Rita.
Parents must
remember that
their choice to
separate does
not end their
responsibility as
parents.
school performance, and night-terrors,
advises Lora.
Regardless of their age, children
may struggle to accept further changes
in family circumstances. “Children
like to put their parents in a box,”
says Glynis. “If you have been a stay-
at-home mum and decide to return
to work, be prepared for resistance.
Also, be prepared for your children
to dislike a new partner. This may
change over time, or it may not. Be
right to remain children, she explains.
They do not necessarily have the
mental capacity to understand what
is going on and they do not deserve
to be drawn into parental disputes.
Instead, parents should seek ways
to lessen the impact of divorce on
their children and shield them from
harm. “Parents must remember that
their choice to separate does not end
their responsibility as parents,” Lora
concludes.
sensitive to and respectful of your
child’s feelings, but do not let them put
you back in the box.”
You are both still parents
Divorce is an incredibly painful
experience for parents and children
alike. It can be harder on children,
however, because “they were not
consulted about this major decision in
their lives and the consequences that
follow,” says Lora. Children have the
February 2013
65