T
alk about a worrying metaphor. On the day of
writing this, I saw a picture in the news in the
Chinese God of Wealth protesting in Guangzhou
over unpaid wages.
Of course I realised that it wasn’t the REAL God of
Wealth, since I saw
Cai Shen
down at my local shopping mall
yesterday, and it seems unlikely he could have got to the
protest in Guangzhou the same day, given the difficulty of
moving in ankle-length red robes.
Anyway, the whole idea is screwy. No one expects to
PAY
Cai Shen
. The God of Wealth is an astonishingly large
one-way OUTWARD cash delivery conduit (the exact
opposite of my daughters).
Actually, I’ve always
thought that the God of
Wealth’s operation felt like
a tax-reduction dodge,
possibly arranged by
some sort of association of
mythical characters.
The topic of tax and magic came up at a lunch I had
with two small businessmen (that’s the official phrase,
but one was medium-sized and the other was door-
challengingly huge) who were discussing staff bonuses.
One said that he planned to give them out as personal
lai
see
packets because staff would not be taxed on them. The
other said that if this was true, all bonuses would be given
out as
lai see
packets.
A third party at the table said that he had looked up the
relevant Hong Kong ordinance and there were references
to bonuses and “
dim yung
”, which is a Cantonese term for “a
little off the top”, but no mention of
lai see
packets.
I did not contribute to the discussion, but quietly
resolved to invest in the production of extra-large
lai see
envelopes massive enough to receive the sort of multi-
million-dollar bonus that investment bankers get. I shall call
All through the year, legendary figures keep society’s
cash moving, says father-of-three
Nury Vittachi.
them
Lai See
Buckets.
Talking of mythical characters, that Santa Claus clearly
runs some sort of highly suspect operation which involves
no known sources of income and yet has massive flows
of outgoings. This is a ludicrous business model used by
nobody at all, except for YouTube, Wikipedia, Twitter,
Instagram, and a thousand more of today’s best known
firms.
Note that Santa lives in the Arctic, which is a totally tax-
free jurisdiction, and visits 200 countries on a single night,
thus spending too little time in any of them to be classified
as a taxable resident. It’s hard to avoid the conclusion that
Santa is running some sort of loss-leading programme
designed to increase
turnover for retailers.
As a Hongkonger, I’ve
always wondered about
the connection between
Chang'e, the Goddess of
the Moon, and the snacks
sold at vast expense in her name: moon cakes. How much
of this cash is repatriated to the Moon? Not a cent, I am
reliably told. Why not? If profits were “repatriated” to the
Moon, they would attract a zero tax rate, since there is a
curious shortage of inland revenue inspectors up there.
Once moon cake makers realise this, they will surely move
their head offices to the Sea of Tranquillity with immediate
effect.
Meanwhile, there’s only one mythical person I know
who actually insists on getting something for her money.
And that’s the Tooth Fairy. She doesn’t pay a lot of money
to her customers, yet she ends up with a supply of high-
grade ivory. Smart lady.
Nury Vittachi writes a regular humour column at
.
Money secrets
of mythical beings
128
Playtimes
The topic of tax and magic
came up at a lunch I had with
two small businessmen.
