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ost parents would do almost anything to transform their children’s bad habits into good ones. However, it’s worth recognising that we’re probably all guilty of slipping into undesirable patterns ourselves, whether it’s that extra glass of wine after work or mid-afternoon dips into the cookie jar. We should, then, be more sympathetic to our children and teenagers struggling to replace their bad behaviours. However, how many of us will reluctantly admit to continually nagging our children to: Keep your elbows off the table! Chew with your mouth shut! Stop leaving the entire contents of your wardrobe on your bedroom foor!

It’s often hard to remember how diffcult it is for us to make a change in our own lives – to stop smoking or lose weight, for example. And it’s worth reminding ourselves that most of the time, our children are not engaging in bad habits on purpose or to deliberately annoy us.

Everything children do, they do for a reason, whether it’s to capture a parent’s attention (sometimes achieved through annoyance), or because they are nervous, anxious, or scared and take comfort in their habits. Figuring out the root cause of the habits can help us understand them and then work towards eliminating them.

Sometimes the root cause is quite obvious: for example, your child’s room might always be untidy, not because her habit is to be messy, but because she knows that her helper or mum will eventually come and clean it for her. Sometimes it’s less obvious: nail-biting may calm your child down when he is anxious.

Once you’ve identifed the habit you’re trying to help your child kick, there are many strategies to try. Remember that each child is different and may therefore respond differently to each tactic. Here are a few tried and tested methods. Stick with one for a few weeks – you must be consistent and structured for it to work. If you fnd it doesn’t work with your child, don’t force the issue; try a different strategy.

Develop less harmful habits Rather than telling your child or teen

not to do something, suggest what they could be doing instead. So if your child is bored when trying to complete his homework and begins clicking his pen over and over in an attempt to regain concentration, ask him to fddle with a piece of Blu-tack or clay instead.

If your son or daughter is continually leaving things on their bedroom foor and, as a result, the room is always messy, instead of nagging them to be tidier (if successful,

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