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or someone else they trust. They might have diffculty concentrating on an activity or paying attention in school, and their appetite may fuctuate, too, eating more or less than usual. Their behaviour might change signifcantly when they are fearful, becoming unusually hyperactive or slow and lethargic. Fear can also cause regression in behaviours: some kids may wet their bed or soil themselves, despite being competently toilet-trained. Others may begin to suck their thumb again or want to fall asleep with the security of a teddy bear.

What can parents do? It takes a lot of patience and understanding to help your child cope with his fears. Babies simply require their needs to be met, body and eye contact and soothing words. How a parent reacts to older children expressing fear determines the child’s ability to deal with their fears effectively and whether the fear will continue. There are many things that you can do before the fear develops into a problem. Just because many fears are considered normal does not mean that parents should ignore them. These fears affect your child, so spend time comforting them if they display symptoms of fear. Recognising that your child is being affected by fear is one of the frst steps a parent can take to help. Talk with your child about what is upsetting them and encourage an open dialogue. Take time to listen attentively and lend support, despite how convoluted their fears may sound. Let them know that everyone is afraid sometimes. A talk that includes logical

reasoning and a reality check will help overcome some fears. However, be patient with irrational fears as they are a product of your child’s mind. Together, come up with strategies to overcome the fear, such as visiting a new school before the term begins, for example, if the thought of school is causing them discomfort.

Accepting and respecting your child’s fear validates their emotions. Their feelings should not be taken lightly, disregarded or ridiculed. Never compare your child to another, don’t allow them to be ashamed of their fear, and never use it as a form of punishment, as this only reinforces and strengthens the fear.

Children often learn behaviours from their parents. Modelling appropriate behaviour yourself and showing your child that you are not afraid will help them. Their feelings will be exacerbated if they see you are scared of an object or situation. Always encourage and praise courageous behaviour.

Beyond fear

Although most childhood fears pass with time and trepidation, sometimes a childhood fear can become intense, irrational or last well beyond the age that children should usually outgrow it. If a fear is beginning to interrupt a child’s daily life and normal activities, if a child becomes preoccupied with the fear, displays signs of anxiety, begins to misbehave more than usual, develops sleeping problems or an increase in psychosomatic complaints, don’t be shy about seeking professional help from a doctor or psychologist, who may provide counselling or medication if needed.

Getting rid of monsters under the bed

Monsters commonly turn up as uninvited guests under your child’s bed, causing quite the conundrum for parents. Here are a few tactics to try to get rid of monsters:

Create a night-time routine. A night-time routine that is peaceful and involves a relaxing bath, story time and the limiting of unsuitable television content will help your child to be less stressed when going to bed. Install a night-light. This will allow your child to have a clear vision of their room and assist in eliminating illusions. Do a room sweep before bed. Together with your child check under the bed, in drawers, in the cupboard or anywhere a monster could lurk in order to reassure them that nothing is there. Make no room for monsters. Place clear storage boxes under your child’s bed and fll them with toys they will regularly get out and play with. Show your child that there is simply no room for a monster to live under there. Trap the monster. Be creative with your child and make a monster trap from a cardboard box that they can decorate. By checking the trap every morning your child will see that there are no monsters. Alternatively, one morning the box may “disappear” because the monster was caught and had to be taken away.

Repel the monster. Develop an “anti-monster” spray by using a spray bottle flled with water and perhaps some relaxing essential oils. Your child can spray under the bed before going to sleep to keep the monsters at bay. If you can’t beat them ... Tell your child that the monsters just want to be friends and need a place to sleep. Your child could even leave out a night-time snack for them.

Accepting and respecting your child’s fear validates their emotions.

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