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Claudia Saunders is a mother, writer, and counsellor for children with special learning and emotional needs.

One educator I spoke with warns: “Allowing a young child to use Facebook is like permitting him to openly announce his personal thoughts over a bullhorn in a public mall.” (With Facebook’s privacy settings left open, one could potentially reach a much larger audience on Facebook than in the mall.) These points are often overlooked unless something unfortunate happens. I know my son would be challenged to understand that a seemingly private post placed on Facebook from our home computer could be disseminated to a vast sea of users. And my son is not alone. A recent poll on adult Facebook use found that 93.8 per cent of respondents felt confused, misled or misinformed about how the site’s privacy settings actually worked. Certainly one could understand how a child could be confused by the workings and higher concept of privacy settings and blocks.

Breaking the rules

To complicate matters more, educators and parents aren’t always on the same page. Last year I attended a primary school workshop where the topic of social media came up. According to the guidance counsellor leading that discussion, parents should be “friending” their children on Facebook and utilising the site to keep an eye on them, monitor their friendships, and to reinforce important notes and reminders occurring within the family. Really? Facebook as the place to post reminders such as; “Football practice after school tomorrow” or “Orthodontist appointment on Tuesday”? To me, these sort of small face-to-face interactions are far too rich to leave to Facebook. I want to see my son’s face when he rolls his eyes at my annoying reminders, or fashes a bright twinkle at the thought of an activity he enjoys. It’s these little moments that make the dullest interactions and routines in my day real and gratifying.

The counsellor had many examples of how school-age children were using Facebook. (Posting homework questions and sharing photos, for example). She also informed us that many of our primary school children were most likely already on Facebook, or soon would be,

and that we parents would be well advised to join our children’s technical world, if we hadn’t already. From what I knew about my son and his friends, I was a bit sceptical about much of this, but found the point valid just the same: Facebook was no longer just a buzzword on the playground. It could potentially change our children’s lives.

Safety frst

Most conversations I’ve had with parents regarding Facebook often come around to concerns of bullying, online predator risks and exposure to inappropriate content. These are critical issues to address and several websites and parenting workshops have been developed that provide valuable information on these topics. However, these are not the only issues that parents should be mindful of when permitting younger children to use Facebook. There is still minimal information on the effects that social media may have on developing children’s social and emotional development.

An article in Time magazine described Facebook as “something that has turned into something real, something that has changed the way that human beings relate to one another on a species-wide scale.” With our school-age children still undergoing important social and emotional changes that contribute to their identity and future development, I want my child to develop traditional, person-to-person skills before moving online. At nine, my son is just coming into his own personality. He is still refning his ability to detect sarcasm and read facial cues. He’s begging to get the many nuances of my raised eyebrow. Believe it or not, these are important skills that can only be perfected in real-time through face-to-face interactions. No, my son does not know how to tag photos or set up a profle. But just like dating and driving, that time will come.

There is still minimal

information on the effects that social media may have on developing children’s social and emotional development.

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