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Kate Zhou is the founder and director of Mandarin for Munchkins. A qualifed Mandarin teacher, Kate was born and educated in mainland China, and moved to Hong Kong in 1998. She and her French husband have two young children. Mandarin for Munchkins is one of Hong Kong’s frst Mandarin

language centres specialising in teaching non-Chinese-speaking children. Programmes are available throughout Hong Kong and at their learning centres in Central and Discovery Bay. Visit www.mandarinformunchkins.com for more information.

2 A huge fan of interior design, she and her son would sometimes watch home design shows together. Dad came home one day and found mum and child curled up in bed watching Design Star and said, “Shouldn’t you be watching sports instead?” The boy decided it was sissy to watch design shows.

3 Her son wanted to grow his hair out, if only to see what it would look like. He was worried people might think he was a girl. She told him he should do want he wanted without fearing what others thought. Dad said boys don’t have long hair. Dad won again.

4 Already bilingual in English and Mandarin, the boy wanted to take on French. Since they knew they’d be moving to Chicago, Mum said, “Spanish would probably be more useful, but choose what you will enjoy.” Her son still thought French might be more fun. Then Dad said, “Useless language. Learn Spanish.” And that decided it.

She’d tell me stories like these and I used to think she was slightly paranoid. Now I am not so sure. When her little boy refuses to do/eat/drink/like something he knows his dad doesn’t do either, he’ll say “It’s in my DNA.” While I think this in itself isn’t a totally bad thing, dads need to realise how much impact their feeting comments have. Some of these comments can result in worrisome attitudes in their kids.

A while back, we had a four-year-old boy in our class who told his teacher that he did not want to learn Mandarin anymore because Chinese people were dirty and stupid. The offended teacher asked why he’d say such

a thing, and he said his father said so on the phone with someone, so it must be true.

Maybe it is because our kids see their dads less often than they see their mums. Maybe they view dads as ephemeral and important to please. Maybe dads just seem more formidable and therefore (to a child) more right. Whatever the reason, fathers should realise the power they have over their kids and how a simple comment from them can undermine all the work a mother has been doing. So what am I doing about Cantonese and my daughter? Well, I seem to be fghting a losing battle and perhaps it’s time for a word with my husband.

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