“When Dad goes back to work,
Mum becomes the expert in baby’s
routine, as she does things more
frequently and faster. Most babies
become a bit more fussy and whiney
the closer they get to bed time, which
also happens to be about the time Dad
gets home from work. Dad’s different
way of doing things might make baby
cry so a worried mum might want
to help, give advice or correct Dad.
Bad idea. If mum takes over the job,
Dad could end up as a happy baby
playmate.”
“I have spoken to mums who feel
like the time baby and dad spend
together should be happy, quality
time and so does everything to bring
a smile to their faces. I think bonding
with Dad will only work out if he has
the same responsibilities every day,
regardless of his or baby’s mood,
even if it is a small thing like putting
pyjamas on. If this is not possible on
weekdays because of irregular working
hours, at least on the weekend it
should be clear that Mum has a
weekend too.
“Parental bonding for me is not
only having a happy sleeping baby
or skin-to-skin contact, it is so much
more, taking on responsibilities on a
daily basis in good and difficult times.
That is really what parenting is.”
Dad-to-dad advice
Another good source of advice for new
dads is Neil Sinclair’s book,
Commando
Dad
. Sinclair is a former Royal
Engineer Commando, PE teacher,
UN security guard and a police
community support officer. But as he
explains on his website, “By far the
most demanding job to date is as stay-
at-home dad to my three kids: Samuel,
Jude and Liberty.”
His tongue-in-cheek book uses
headings like, How to prepare base
camp (baby’s bedroom) for the trooper.
Instructions are mainly in bullet
points and there are some amusing
cod-military pictures that explain all
the basics including how to change
nappies and pack baby’s kitbag.
The Commando Dad website
forum is a handy place to ask
questions. When my wife was
pregnant I asked her a couple of
baby-related questions, which resulted
in her throwing her head back and
laughing at me like a musketeer. I
suppose asking, “Why do newborn
babies need clothes?” was not such a
bright question, but “What to expect
at prenatal classes,” is fair enough.
Three days of real-life, hands-on
newborn babycare experience won’t
ever be enough to answer all a new
dad’s long list of questions…
June 2015
35
