In the endless pre-baby prep lists, don’t forget
to include a Sanity Buddy for yourself, writes
Orla Breeze
.
advice
(rated PG)
M
oses basket, baby chair,
car seat, rocker, baby
carrier, stroller – what
else? Oh yeah, about a
zillion nappies, a gazillion onesies and
a gajillion packets of baby wipes. Yes, I
know gajillion isn’t a word. And no, I don’t
care. What I do care about, however, is
making sure you are fully equipped and
ready for the arrival of, well, your new
arrival. Those of us who have already
met our little one and the one after that
(and the one after that) can completely
empathise with how it feels to be in the
middle of all that preparation work at
a time when all you really want to do is
sleep. Or in my case, sleep and eat, and
then sleep some more. Followed by a
snack. Preparing for a baby is hungry
work, people!
But even with all that cogitating
and organising, I’m here to tell you that
something pretty important is missing
from your list. And I know this because it
wasn’t on mine either, although it really
should have been. When it finally turned
up, three months into motherhood, it
ended up being the life ring I had been
desperately trying to get hold of. And
because it made such a big difference
to me, I want you to have one too. So
grab that piece of paper, or notebook,
or laptop, or wherever you’re keeping
that never-ending inventory, and add the
following item:
Sanity Buddy
Yup, a Sanity Buddy is your new
number one priority. This can’t be your
husband. REPEAT! This cannot be your
husband. This is in addition to him.
You guys are going to be pretty busy
between baby and work and home so
there will be times when the pressure will
get to both of you. Your Sanity Buddy is
your release valve for these times.
Ideally you’re looking for another
expectant mother with a similar due
date who will be experiencing first-time
motherhood alongside you. She must
be surfing on your wavelength, get your
sense of humour and match you drink
for drink when you get together for your
weekly nights out. Yes, weekly. Breast
pumps were made specifically for this
reason. She needs to be honest to a
fault and very happy to share her truth
about motherhood. So happy, in fact,
that when you confess that you told your
newborn to get the f*#@ to sleep, she
informs you that it’s practically the only
word she uses when communicating
with her bambino. See what I mean?
She’s the person who you don’t have to
pretend with because she doesn’t have
to pretend with you. Which is precisely
why this is such a big priority.
You see, the truth is, despite
parenthood being very widespread and
extremely common, almost nobody
wants to admit that it’s not always a
bed of roses. Or even one rose stem. Or
just a teeny tiny petal, but you get my
point. And when the vast majority of
your parenting compatriots appear to
be having a whale of a time, it’s not that
surprising that a new mum suddenly finds
herself thinking that maybe it’s just her.
That all other new mothers are merrily
sailing through this huge life transition
on a super yacht whilst she is just about
keeping her head above water.
Which is where your Sanity Buddy
swoops in! Her very existence is all the
living proof you need that even if the rest
really are having a non-stop whale of a
time (SPOILER ALERT: they’re not), you’re
definitely not the only one who’s having a
more – how can I put this? – challenging
time.
What more could a new mama
need?
Sanity, Oh Sanity!
Where Art Thou Sanity?
