including a lack of boundaries and
misunderstanding about the notion of
consent.
PT:
How can parents start talking
about sex with their child?
DH:
Keep in mind that you’re having
this conversation to inform your child,
and this can help you to keep a little
distance. Start with simple explanations
or topics, be concrete, clear and
direct. Have a positive attitude, avoid
stereotypes and prejudices. Also, avoid
being overprotective. One option is to
break down the discussion between
parents and each talk about the topic
you feel most comfortable with. You can
use visuals to make it practical and easy
to understand.
PT:
What about teenagers who
don’t yet seem interested in sex?
DH:
I urge parents not to be
overprotective, be realistic. Often
parents come to me and say, “We do
not believe that our teen is interested
in sex”, but as soon as they walk out
of the room I get a thousand questions
from the teenager. Ignoring the topic
can lead to lack of information, resulting
in increased vulnerability and risk of
becoming a victim of abuse, sexually
transmitted diseases and unwanted
pregnancies. Teens are often more
comfortable asking questions and
learning from a neutral perspective
(informative) and the social influence
from a group is also very positive.
PT:
Can starting the conversation
pique their interest in sex?
DH:
Information does not make
young people more sex-obsessed,
parents shouldn’t worry about that.
Knowledge develops a young person’s
boundaries and judgment, and gives
them the ability to decode situations
and to develop social and sexual skills.
Knowledge can also reduce problem
behaviors, improve self-esteem and
independence, and increase social
inclusion.
PT:
Why is knowledge important?
DH:
I have met many young people
who do not know what a condom is
because their only sexual reference is
porn. Facts are important for safety,
they’re also important for self esteem. I
have also met teenagers who question
their bodies because they have body
hair and smaller genitalia than porn
actors. It’s really important to have a
variety of material, photographs, films
and objects when you talk about sex,
otherwise it will be too abstract. Many
teens also want to learn the “steps”
in a relationship (friendship, romantic
relationship) because they rarely have
this knowledge and experience.
PT:
What is the most difficult aspect
of sexuality to teach teens with
ASD?
DH:
The social interaction and the
fact that many young people within
the autism spectrum have difficulty
September 2016
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