Second-born children
“
The only thing you can bet your pay
cheque on is that the firstborn and
second-born in any given family are
going to be different,” says Dr Kevin
Leman, author of
The Birth Order Book:
Why You Are The Way You Are
.
Raised by a more knowledgeable
and relaxed mother, the second-born
is usually more independent, inventive
and inclined to take risks compared to
her older sibling, says Hadas. However,
if the older sibling is a rebel, the second
child may become the conformist.
Either way, the second child will
usually seek to be different from her
trailblazing older sibling.
Bettina confirms, “Zoe, my second
child, is the creative person in the
house. She surprises us every day with
her artistic talent. She certainly has a
mind of her own and, at times, she can
be completely unreasonable. Last week
I caught her feeding our cat live fish
from our pond. Finlo would never do
this. It wouldn’t even cross his mind!”
Whilst Zoe is the second-born
child, she is also the firstborn female
sibling. She therefore possesses some
firstborn characteristics. “Zoe tends
to take on the mother role. She loves
bossing around her little brother but,
at the same time, she’s teaching him
writing and drawing,” Bettina says.
Middle children
Sandwiched between older and
younger siblings, middle children
usually possess strong social skills and,
as a result, have lots of friends. At
the same time, they can be unsure of
themselves. “Jake, our third child, is
the comedian and rebel of the family.
Yet, he shows the biggest separation
anxiety out of all our children. He is
very competitive – as if he’s looking
for a niche in the family,” says
Bettina, who works hard to ensure
each child feels recognised and
appreciated in the family.
“‘
Middle Child Syndrome’ is
very real!” says Lisa Terauchi, who is
currently expecting her third child.
As a middle child herself, Lisa grew
up feeling marginalised and neglected
by her parents. Her older sister was
the high achiever who was considered
to be the smarter, prettier and more
talented sister, and her younger brother
was the golden boy who could do
no wrong in their parents’ eyes. Lisa
became the rebellious black sheep of
the family.
According to Hadas, the middle
child may become the “problem
child” because, with neither the
rights of the firstborn nor privileges
of the youngest, she feels unloved
and uncertain of herself.
March 2013
59