parents who choose never to marry
(almost 5,000 at the last count),
mothers and fathers who choose to
adopt and have no partner, and those
who have been widowed.
All by myself
Regardless of what brings a parent to
this point in his or her life, they find
themselves in unfamiliar parenting
territory. As a single parent, you’re
doing the work of two people. You are
responsible for making each and every
decision for the well-being of your
child and home. No wonder you’ll
often hear the phrase, “I don’t know
how single parents do it”.
“You have to cope. There is no
choice. I am not the kind of person
to fixate on it [being a single parent].
I got up and got on with it,” Tracey
says.
It’s a sentiment shared by Caroline
Coombs, owner of Good as New Baby
sales events, a personal trainer and
founder of Single Mums Hong Kong.
Caroline became a single parent in
2012 after a “whirlwind romance”
that she chose to break off. Two weeks
later, she found out she was pregnant.
Caroline remains truly positive on
her outlook as a single mum. She
remembers how she felt as she left her
family support and flew back from the
UK (where she had returned to give
birth): “Coming back to Hong Kong
on that plane, with my baby girl Lily,
I was so excited. I knew my life was
going to be very different from when
I left almost a year ago. Until then, I
didn’t really have any friends with kids
and so I knew I would be starting over
again to make a new group of friends.
I was also setting up my business.”
Work/life balance
Of course, in a country where the
average employee works 48.7 hours
per week, rents are high and part-time
jobs few and far between, trying to
maintain a balance of family life and
generate a supportive income is not
easy. For most single parents, working
is the only option. Perhaps it is Hong
Kong’s work-hard mentality, or that
the Comprehensive Social Security
Assistance (CSSA) of $3,500 only
applies to permanent residents, but
more than half of all single parents
were working at the last census.
However, what is perhaps
promising and indicative of single
parents’ voices being heard is that
the single-parent tax allowance has
been increased twice since 2007, from
$100,000 to $120,000, and, after a
certain amount of campaigning, set
at exactly half the married person’s
allowance of $240,000.
Talking about her financial
situation, Caroline, who is running
her own business, says, “There is no
option for failure because there is no
other income for me. It will hopefully
make my business a success.”
Tracey went back to work just
three weeks after delivering her
daughter. “Until that point I had
not been working full-time. I was a
freelance writer and tutor, which gave
me just enough money to pay the bills
and a helper,” she says. “Going back
to work was so hard, but after a week
or so it did get better. I had no choice.”
But what of child maintenance
when divorce or separation is a factor?
Mandatory child maintenance was
only brought into action in 2003, and
– inspiringly – it was single parents
like Tracey who helped bring about
change. Before that, while a court
could instruct a father to make child
support payments, there was no law in
place to force him to do so.
Tracey jokes she was “like a
broken record” and wouldn’t stop
campaigning until the situation
was changed. With the help of her
network, which included government-
linked friends and people of influence,
Tracey helped change the law. In
2003, a law was enacted that meant a
father could be stopped from leaving
or coming into Hong Kong should he
not be up to date with his maintenance
October 2013
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