(rated PG)
D
on’t get me wrong, I love this time
of year. Sleigh bells a-ringing,
(fake) snow a-glistening, partridges
in pear trees... I welcome the lot. But the
one thing I really don’t love is the name:
“Holiday Season”.
Really? It’s no more a
holiday
than a
month spent working in a goldmine only
to find that when they said
gold
, they
actually meant
coal
. The word holiday
implies rest, relaxation, rejuvenation and a
whole lot of joy to the world, but I can’t tell
you the last time I came out of the festive
season wanting to ding dong merrily on
high. More like ding dong, medicate me
and get me high. Shopping, organising,
shopping, wrapping, plus some last-
minute shopping alongside an orgy
of overeating and under-sleeping, all
swaddled in a sparkly haze of alcohol.
No wonder we all feel like running to the
gym as soon as we hit the New Year. (And
when I say
all
, you know I don’t mean me,
right?)
So how do we get from bah humbug
to ho ho ho? How do we keep the joy
of the season without completely and
utterly losing our reason?
Well, my parenting kin, the answer
is simple. We’ve simply got to keep
things simple. When I think back to
my childhood at Christmas, it’s the
simple things that make me smile. The
excitement of visiting my nana and
grandad to see if I’d finally graduated
to receiving a special card hiding in the
Christmas tree. (You had to be above the
grand old age of six for that.) Heading
into the city on Christmas Eve to see the
country’s most famous radio presenter
broadcast his show from one of the
main shopping streets. Sitting around the
kitchen table with my siblings helping to
prepare the mammoth Christmas dinner.
The excitement of watching
The Wizard
of Oz
on the telly in those pre-DVD days.
Sure, I got some amazing, fantastic
gifts, but that’s not what I remember
when I look back. I remember the joy of
the simple stuff. So now that I have kids,
I’d like for
them
to experience the same
and for
me
to experience it all again.
And I’d take a guess that you would, too.
C’mon people, we can do this!
Let’s be the first generation of parents
to actually have a holiday during the
holiday season. All we need to do is take
the following vow and stick to it. Deep
breath. Here we go…
I do solemnly swear to set myself
a modest budget, keeping in mind all
those times I bought expensive gifts for
my children only to discover that they
preferred the packaging they came in.
I pinky-promise to shop for no more
than the equivalent of two full days,
sticking rigidly to the formula of “one gift
for them, one gift for me”.
I vow to switch off all technology
for one whole week and instead play
charades and watch classic movies with
my kids.
For this, I will reward myself with a
lot of downtime, including a specially
designated day for me, me and only me.
This must include massage, fine dining
and preferably a night at a hotel. Five-
star. I have standards.
All this I pledge as a heartfelt
commitment to restore the season of the
holiday into a holiday for all.
And so it will come to pass that
this one beautiful promise will benefit
humankind for generations to come. For,
instead of a holiday season ringing to
the sounds of cash registers, computer
games and that well-known phrase, “I
want, I want, I want”, we will finally come
to truly enjoy the most wonderful time of
the year.
Orla Breeze’s parenting classes,
including Daddy 101 and Mommy 101,
offer tips, techniques and humorous
insights into life as a parent. If you’d like
to discuss what every parent thinks, but
seldom dares to talk about, and learn
other secrets to parenting success, visit
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… isn’t it?
asks
Orla Breeze.
Season
of good chill
24
Playtimes
