Mum Helen says: “We are originally
from the UK and we moved to Hong
Kong in 2009. We have one adopted
daughter, who joined our family after
we came here.
We had unsuccessfully tried to
have children in the UK but hadn’t
seriously thought about adoption as
an option due to the [complicated]
process there. Shortly after we
arrived here, we met a couple who
were adopting. They described their
positive experience and things fell into
place for us.
We had to wait until we had
been resident in Hong Kong for a
year before we could apply to be
assessed and attend the initial briefing
at the Social Welfare Department.
We listened to the possible options
of local versus international and the
process and requirements for each
programme. We then met with the
director of International Social Services
to understand the realities of each
option in more detail. We chose to
apply to adopt from Russia.
The first step was to be approved
by the authorities in Hong Kong. We
found this to be thorough, but not
unreasonable, and things moved
along at a steady pace once we
were assigned a social worker. We
then started the process with Russia,
which required a lot more paperwork.
Juggling the requirements of three
countries where we were citizens,
residents and applying to adopt from
was frustrating. All parties were very
clear about what they wanted and
what they were willing to provide, but
often those didn’t match up. It often
took several phone calls to get the
right person, or the person who was
willing to do what was necessary. This
was an area that was not very well
supported by the authorities here
and we were lucky to get help with
contact information from adoptive
families who had already successfully
been through the process.
Once all the paperwork was in
place, a referral came through very
quickly and we were on our way to
Russia to meet our future daughter.
We travelled to Russia four times
over the six months it took between
registering our papers and bringing
our daughter home. The number of
trips was expected, but the time was
double what we’d originally estimated
because there had not been an
adoption to Hong Kong from Russia for
a few years and personnel in Moscow
had changed, necessitating some
extra work behind the scenes.
The process was both emotionally
draining and exhilarating. It was
stop-start, with nothing happening for
seemingly ages and then huge leaps
forward. There was no timetable, so
we’d just sit and wait and wonder, Is
today the day? The process put quite
a strain on our relationship at times,
but ultimately strengthened the bond
between us, which was needed when
we became new parents. Through
our travels to Russia, we were able
to see and do things that helped us
appreciate our daughter’s culture
a little, which we hope will help her
when she is ready to ask questions
about her heritage.
We chose to share our experience
with family and some friends. Some
were a huge support throughout the
process, but some found it too difficult
to give much support. We don’t blame
them: everyone copes in a different
way and we think family, in particular,
found it difficult to get emotionally
invested in case things didn’t work out.
Now our daughter is part of the family,
they all adore her. We have no regrets.
To couples seeking to adopt,
we say talk to as many people who
have adopted as you can, but
especially those who have adopted
from the same place you’re looking
at. Processes differ so greatly from
country to country that you really
need support from those who have
travelled the same path. Also, talk to
adoptees – it really helps to see their
perspective. And don’t think about
adoption if you want to ‘rescue’ a
child; you have to want it in a different
way – as a
parent
.”
Helen & Andrew
