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’ve been cursed with a thousand years of bad luck. How could I not be, surrounded by paper offerings to the dead, on an occasion that was meant to be a celebration of life? It all began when I attended a party hosted by a former adult student. She’s a lovely lady, but I did wonder if she paid attention at all in class. As part of her festive décor, she’d hung paper offerings all over her apartment.

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in our host’s macabre interpretation of what it meant to “go local”, she had actually embraced with abandon all that symbolised the dead.

I blame myself. Perhaps in class I should not have presented information about cultural sensitivities in a humorous, jovial way. If I’d made it more earnest, lowered my voice an octave and put on a sombre face when describing what offends Chinese people, she might have taken me

No matter how Westernised your Chinese friends seem to be, always remember that there is a good chance they were brought up by very Chinese parents.

customs, stick. And, however odd it may seem to you, some transgressions are more serious than others. This realisation crystallised for me many years ago during a long, leisurely lunch with a good friend. This friend is Muslim and, while he is not orthodox, he does observe many of the customs he was brought up with. Except for the drinking. So at this lunch, while he was enjoying his third glass of wine, I asked him if it was not against his beliefs to drink alcohol. He responded, with a twinkle in his eye, “Some things send you straight to Hell. This is not one of them. Now, pork? That is a completely different story. I don’t eat pork.” While I knew he was not 100 per cent serious, I still fled that conversation away in my memory bank. So, when he comes to our home for dinner, I never serve pork. It’s just a matter of simple consideration, or, what I call my 3Cs Principle: Consideration Costs nothing and Causes no awkwardness. I know: it’s a little cheesy.

But it’s all part of respecting our neighbours, and this respect is especially important when we are expatriates in a foreign land – in this case, a Chinese land.

She believed that these very detailed crafts of cheongsams , Ferraris, and

mahjong sets were delicate works of art. In fact, they were joss paper, or funeral paper, meant to be burned for our dearly departed. A cheongsam , for example, might be burned so that a female family member who had passed on might enjoy such a dress in the afterlife. The mahjong set might similarly bring her entertainment. So,

seriously. And I would not feel the need to shower repeatedly in vain efforts to wash the bad luck off. I’m only half kidding.

So here’s a tip: No matter how Westernised your Chinese friends seem to be, always remember that there is a good chance they were brought up by very Chinese parents. Some of their teachings, especially those that relate to culture and

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