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Kate Zhou is the founder and director of Mandarin for Munchkins, one of Hong Kong’s frst Mandarin language centres specialising in teaching non-Chinese-speaking children. Mandarin for Munchkins runs language programmes for children aged 12 months and up. Programmes are available throughout Hong Kong and at their learning centre in

Discovery Bay. Go to www.mandarinformunchkins.com for more information.

Blissfully unaware

Which brings me to another birthday party that sent me home, scrambling for the shower.

I accompanied my daughter to one of her friend’s birthday parties recently. At this party, the birthday boy opened his presents in front of his guests – a frst for me. But no, that wasn’t the faux pas . One of the gifts he opened up was from his mum, and it was a beautiful, very realistic sports car, made out of paper. Funeral paper. Yes, it was another “toy for the dead”. I could not believe my bad luck. Actually, I guess I could. To make matters worse, the parent had included more of these “toys for the dead”, in miniature, in the goodie bags.

The Chinese parents in attendance were gobsmacked and horrifed. I saw one trying to get her child to toss it in the bin. Since I felt like I knew the host fairly well, I asked her if she knew what these paper foldings actually were. She said – totally without guile – that she did, but didn’t mind. They looked great to

her and their intended purpose was no big deal.

And she was not totally wrong. No one was offended or upset except the Chinese parents. Their own kids loved the paper offerings. My daughter thought her paper cheongsam was worthy of being on permanent display. The birthday boy loved his gift. Everyone that really mattered at the party was happy. So should we sensitive grown-ups not just get over it? In my humble opinion, no. I believe that it’s a host’s responsibility to do everything reasonable to make sure our guests are comfortable and enjoying themselves. It is basic party

etiquette that spans countries, cultures and time. In return, it is our duty as guests to behave in a manner that will add to the gaiety and celebration that the occasion warrants.

Which was what I did on both occasions: I kept calm and carried on. I chatted. I laughed. I behaved like I was having loads of fun. Because I was. When I got home, I said a prayer, burned up the miniature funeral paper offerings and wrote a thank-you note to my host for a wonderful day. Because it truly was.