But would she have preferred not to know the truth at all? No.
This sudden realization causes her to gasp.
She recalls the night her husband decided to escape. “Come with me,” he asked.
She vehemently refused. Sumei had never left the Gobi Desert before. It had been her home
for twenty-seven years. She would always belong to the Xiongnu Tribe, she explained. She wasn’t
ready, didn’t have the courage, to give up everything and follow him, unlike him, who did so for
his country.
“That’s just what you keep telling yourself!” he said, exasperated.
Now, she begins to doubt her decision to stay. Because of him, she no longer feels what the
Xiongnu did to the Hans is correct, yet she was raised in the Xiongnu tribe.
Where do my loyalties lie?
It is midnight. Her son’s snores fill the tent.
Sumei finds herself wide awake.
She peeks out of her tent. The stars are brighter than usual.
One night, about three years before his escape, they went stargazing together.
“You see that exceptionally bright star over there?” He pointed. She nodded.
“That star is for you, my dear.”
“Why?”
“Back in China, we call it the Star of Destiny. It belongs to all who follow their destiny. Mine
is to secure ties between the foreign tribes and my country. Follow yours, dear, and that star shall
be yours to keep.”
She now searches for the Star of Destiny in the night sky. What is my destiny?
Suddenly, she hears a rustle of the curtains. Who is outside her tent at this late hour?
“Sumei,” a familiar voice reaches out to her.
Her husband is leaning against the tent, catching his breath, as if he just ran a long distance.
She opens her mouth to squeal, but he puts an index finger to his lips.
“I don’t have much time to explain. I avoided this part of the desert on my return trip to
China, but somehow Chanyu’s men found me again and killed all of my men. I outran them
and went straight here to find you.” His voice was barely audible. “Chanyu is on his deathbed. I
overheard his men talking about it. This is our chance! When he dies, everything will be in chaos.
We can make a run for it. Please. Come with me.”
Where do her loyalties lie? What is her destiny?
Is she a Xiongnu by birth or a Han through marriage? Does she belong to the Gobi Desert,
or China?
Is what her tribe doing right?
Suddenly, it all dawns on her.
It has always been about following the right path. She isn’t loyal to the Xiongnu anymore.
She doesn’t want to stay in a tribe where people dishonor their promises and disrespect life. Now
that she is a Han, her home is China. And she will go there, not only because of her heritage or
her love for her husband, but because it is the right thing to do. And even if she will never see the
beautiful golden sand of the Gobi Desert again, it will worth it.
So Sumei tells her husband, “I’m ready.”
* * *
