We all say that we won’t let a baby change
our relationship, but after a few months of
parenthood, we all realise that things have shifted.
So what can we do to keep our relationships on
track?
Rebecca Simpson
finds out.
Relight my
FIRE
W
hen you hear a first-
time parent-to-be
saying, “We won’t
let this baby change
our relationship, what do you think?
Do you wonder who she is kidding,
or remember the day when you
earnestly nodded at that statement,
making a silent pact with yourself
not to become one of
those
couples.
Either way, there is one thing that all
parents have in common – after kids,
things will change.
And that’s the exact sentence
that Dr Ghazi Kaddouh made me
write down when I spoke to him
about the challenges all marriages
and relationships face after kids.
“Things will change,” he says
with a warm and knowing smile.
He speaks professionally and
personally. He and his wife of 16
years have two kids, and Dr Ghazi
is a clinical psychologist at Central
Health Medical Practice in Hong
Kong. Before that, he was the staff
psychologist at Harvard University,
and prior to that, Dr Ghazi did
his post-doctoral fellowship at the
University of California, Berkeley,
his alma mater. He has an impressive
history and a rousing passion for
helping couples and families through
their struggles.
Dr Ghazi assures me that post-
baby relationship struggles are very
common. Thank goodness for that,
we can all exhale. I knew this was an
important topic when I threw out my
regular ‘social media-ometer’, asking
friends and community members
to share their experiences and tips
on rekindling romance after kids.
Generous mums in our community
are always willing to share their
stories. This time, silence. No one
had a positive story to share about
rekindling romance. Instead, quite
a few people asked me to share my
findings.
And so I come bearing gifts. Not a
quick fix, because there are no quick
fixes, but a few practical suggestions
on ways to re-stoke the fire and start
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