up to age three or four, experts say,
is likely more about parents than the
child. The children themselves are too
young to have “real” friends of their
own, so it’s the parents’ friends and
any new friends with babies who are
invited.
It’s not unusual for one-year-olds
to fall asleep at their own parties,
no matter how entertaining the
entertainer, or to throw a fit if the
hubbub around them gets to be too
much. Mum Joanne Clayton says her
baby ended up howling at the party
venue because his dummy got thrown
out with the wrapping paper, although
she says even this failed to dampen
the spirits of the 50 or so assembled
guests.
Like Joanne, many parents feel
the early years’ parties are great
excuses to get together with friends,
but as children grow they begin to
have more of a say in the parties they
want. “Typically, the biggest trending
themes are the ones when the movie
has just been released such as
Frozen
or
The Lego Movie
. Kids seem to be
fixated on the latest movie or TV
programme,” says Christine.
“Mothers, however, can be a bit
more creative (if their child allows) by
doing something with non-licensed
themes such as vintage
tea parties,” she says.
Some parents
favour throwing
big birthday parties
because they
themselves didn’t
receive them. Others
look back more
fondly on the simple
old-fashioned
parties with
ice cream and
games they did
attend.
But if
the thought
of going
traditional
seems an
easier route, think again. Once you
decide on a theme, it can take many
hours sourcing and getting everything
to match. Crafty mommas might
get a kick out of putting together
extravagant loot bags and handmade
food, but have to factor in many
hours, maybe outside of work and
when the kids are sleeping, to bring
these ideas into play. These can be
major stressors for time-poor mums,
or those not usually adept at using a
hot glue gun. All those supplies can
add up too, keeping the costs high
even for an at-home party.
If you want to actually enjoy the
big day, sometimes it’s just easier to
hire a space (and a planner) and go
large, says mum Carolynne Knowling.
“I went to a fabulous fifth party a few
years back in a ballroom: free-flow
Dom Pérignon for adults; rolling kids’
and adult buffets; stage show; balloon-
twisters; craft corner; plus loads of
other entertainment I can’t remember!
All the adults ended up staying; the
mum looked like she was having a
blast.”
Opting out
Of course, many of us are simply
unwilling or unable to throw such
a flamboyant bash. Some argue
parties like these overlook
the birthday child; others
think it’s too much and spoils
children. But these kinds of
parties can raise expectations
for everyone.
“Sometimes it does
feel like it becomes a
competition – who does
it bigger and better,”
says mum-of-two,
Steffi Hernandez.
“Parents shouldn’t
feel that pressure.”
She’s thrown two
big parties, one
for her eldest’s
first birthday,
where she says
she made her own
child cry by forcing him into a party
hat, and another when he was five,
to celebrate his end of kindergarten.
Planning a venue, cake, food, gift bags
and a jumping castle, she says, was
agonising. “It broke the bank. I lost
my mind.”
Now, she’s sworn off parties.
Her son’s birthday falls at Easter, so
Steffi plans “birthday weeks” away on
holiday. She and her husband take it
in turns to give gifts or treat her son
throughout the week in the name of
his birthday. Realising, though, that
parties are a way for him to bond and
be social, but aware that the party
circuit can be overwhelming (before
Christmas, she says, there was one
every weekend), she’s concocting an
alternative plan: monthly parties for
kids whose birthdays are grouped
close together. “You can share the
cost of everything and have a bigger
party,” she says.
Small wonders
If, like Steffi, you want to dial down
October 2014
87
