(rated PG)
Building more balance into your life starts
with making a list, writes
Orla Breeze.
Swings and
roundabouts
W
hat’s that phrase again?
Oh yeah: “What you lose
on the swings, you gain
on the roundabouts.” I’ve
always had a problem with that. Firstly,
I don’t see how there are any gains
to be had from spinning in perpetual
dizzying motion, whereas a go on a swing
brings nothing but joy. (Undeniable fact,
people!) And secondly, because when
it comes to parenting, it’s
all
swings and
roundabouts. Our kids are our work
and
our life. It’s not like the pre-parenting
days where there was a clear delineation
between the two. Back then, if we had a
bad day at the office, there was solace
and peace to be found at home. But
since our parenting days have begun,
it’s become increasingly difficult to find
that point of balance on the work/life
see-saw. It’s as if all those swings and
roundabouts have morphed into one
giant bewildering playground. No wonder
we sometimes feel like our life is spinning
out of control!
So, how in the name of all that is
good and proper, do we get back onto
that roundabout, spin incessantly and
yet walk away as solid as a rock? I have
a plan, people! And it’s nice and simple.
All you have to do is get yourself a blank
piece of paper and a pen. Go on, chop
chop! Got it? Great. Let’s start.
Write down the following list:
• Me
• Relationship
• Kids
• Career
Beside each point, write the one
most
important thing that is missing from
that part of your life. You can choose
from things like more me time, romance,
fun, laughter, promotion, support,
communication, or whatever comes to
mind. And to be honest, it’s usually the first
thing that pops into your head that needs
the most balancing.
Now, look back at your list and
instead of feeling overwhelmed by the
amount of aspects that need attention,
congratulate yourself on identifying them.
It’s completely, totally and absolutely
impossible to make any changes in our
lives if we don’t first see what needs
to change. So, my heartfelt congrats
on completing 50 per cent of the job
already. Excellent work, readers, truly
excellent.
Now for step two. Cast your eyes
back over your list and focus on the part
that says “Me”. Because that’s where
it begins. As soon as you find balance
within yourself, you’ll find it a whole lot
easier to find balance outside of
yourself. What is it exactly that’s throwing
you off balance? Get as specific as
you can. If you’ve written down “me
time” then what kind of me time are
you looking for? Are you craving a
guaranteed lie-in at the weekend or just
some time to finish a coffee before it
goes cold? Or is it bigger than that? Allow
yourself to imagine the most-perfect me
time no matter what shape that takes.
And now for the best part of any
project – implementation. If it’s something
that can be changed pretty quickly,
then change it pretty quickly. But if it’s
something that requires a larger shift,
don’t freak out! Just take the first steps.
If you need to sit down and have a
conversation with your partner or re-work
both of your schedules, then do it. If you
need to book yourself in for a massage
every Monday for the next 52 weeks,
then do that. The more action you take
to create balance, the quicker you will
feel it. And the more balanced you feel,
the easier it will be to tackle the rest of
your list.
Finding balance as a parent
doesn’t have to require losing yourself
on the swing in order to gain a happy
family on the roundabout. Small steps
forward are all it takes to ensure that
no playground ride ever throws you off
balance again.
Orla Breeze offers private Parental
Guidance! sessions for expectant, new
and even experienced parents who’d
like to learn how to keep their cool while
nurturing the best in their kids. Contact
her at
.
24
Playtimes
