P
assing out cigars, or just passing
out – that’s how Hollywood
suggests dads spend the day
their baby arrives. And, in fact,
many men really do feel at a loss during
the birth, wishing they could help their
partner but unsure of what to do, and
even feeling unwelcome. Today, nearly
all birthing rooms are open to fathers.
Some hospitals only let Dad in at the very
last minute, while others allow him to
take part throughout the journey. Others
have so many restrictions that even if the
poor man makes it through the door, he is
going to have an extremely challenging
time ahead. I believe it’s vital that the
birthing room is more than a place where
dad is
allowed
to be; rather, it is a place
for a family event in which both partners
are equally involved.
Here are a few tips to help dads feel
more at home in the labour room:
• Join antenatal classes and learn the
facts: Which body part is which, and
how do they all work? What’s likely to
happen, and what’s
not
– there are
many myths out there. How long can
you expect the process to take? What
parts of the process are within your
control and which aren’t?
• Try to feel “at home”. You don’t have to
ask staff for permission to be with your
wife. Avoid touching the equipment or
pressing any strange buttons, but be
where you are needed by your wife.
• Learn how to work the bed, and use it
to make your partner as comfortable
as possible.
• Find out how to play music in the
room, and then set it up to get the
atmosphere right from the start.
• Make sure your partner has enough
food and drinks – she will need to
have small and regular snacks and
drinks throughout the labour to keep
her stamina up. You also need to
stay strong, so make sure you eat
regularly, too.
• Be yourself. Talk to your wife between
the contractions and ask her what she
would like you to do – or not to do.
• Try to find out where she is physically
feeling the discomfort of the
contractions. If it’s in her back, offer a
massage – which you will have learned
to do in your antenatal classes – a
hot pack, or TENS machine, and help
her to stand up or get on her knees to
relieve the pain. If it’s in the front, help
her into the bathtub (if this is an option)
Contrary to what you see in sit-coms, a dad has a
very natural role to play during his baby’s delivery,
says midwife
Hulda Thorey
.
or walk around with her. Help with
her breathing, which you’ll have also
learned about in your classes.
• Help her to change positions if the one
she is using does not seem to be good
for her.
• Don’t talk to her while she pushes; just
hold her hand, or stay behind her if you
are supporting her from her back.
• When the baby is coming, you may
or may not want to look. If your
partner is on her knees, you won’t
see anything, but you may want to
be ready to be handed the baby
and then able to pass it to her. It is
amazing to feel the warmth of the
newborn, but it’s not for everyone!
• After the birth, try to ensure that there’s
not too much noise or light. Try to get 15
to 30 minutes in complete peace and
quiet with the baby on the mother’s
chest. Hold off on the phone calls and
pictures and embrace these moments.
The baby will be opening its eyes,
sticking out its tongue and getting to
know its surroundings, and you will
want to be a part of what he or she
sees, smells and feels for the first time,
before doctors or midwives start to do
their checks.
Annerley offers special one-hour, one-on-one sessions for dads
to prepare them for the birth, designed to give very practical,
hands-on and tailor-made tips that work.
labour
day
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