“Please, Hamid has died fifty years earlier than he should have for all the kindness he has
shown to everyone. I just want to see that what Hamid fought for was worthwhile. It doesn’t feel
right to me if I am to do nothing but run away just because I am a girl. Now, let me do the right
thing…or else I … I don’t deserve my fifteen years of life. ” Ayana’s voice cracked. “I’m not brave, I
hate it, but I have to do it.”
Eventually, even her father had to agree to the plan. Ayana persuaded him to believe of her
virtually impossible chance of escaping.
“Fare thee all well.” Page after page, she filled them with anecdotes that she wanted to write down
for fear of them slipping away, and eventually, a letter to Hamid. Only her family knew that she
was staying behind, with this crescent lake in the Gobi, with Hamid’s spirit.
She handed her precious bundle of animal skin to her brother as he mounted his stead, all but
the letter to Hamid. He was trying hard not to cry.
“Pass them on, please.” Ayana whispered.
“Be careful, little ‘yana.” Tears were streaking down his face.
“You are too brave, my girl,” the only line that lingered between father and daughter. He
looked at her for a long time, as if to commit every tiny feature to his mind. He turned and
galloped to the head of the crowd, not wanting his daughter to see his tears leak.
Then, her last eye across the city. So empty, yet peaceful; so quiet, yet haunting.
At the designated hour, she pushed the dead goat down the wall. As the goat hit the ground,
the food which it was stuffed with before killed, spilled out undigested. As expected, they sent
scouts to check, and from their faces, Ayana gathered that they understood how well fed her home
was to feed a goat with such precious food. Immediately the scouts scurried back and everything
was in frenzy…Ayana couldn’t care less as she strolled to the crescent lake. This was to be her last
time that she sought her piece of mind with it. She hoped that it would last. She hoped that all
memories shared with the lake could stay there.
She woke to read her letter to Hamid. Written there was the reason of the mission: to serve the
same way Hamid did, to die the same way he had with his boldness and benevolence for his
people. Or was it? Ayana wondered, perhaps it wasn’t only just for Hamid anymore. Deep in her
heart, there was a voice telling her that she was here because she hoped that her tribe would be
able to live the way she never had a chance to experience. A future where her tribe would be
prosperous, her family happy, and no more haunting threats… If this small act could secure it,
then she was willing to make it happen, even if it meant her sacrifice. This was what she wanted.
She tied a stone to the letter and watched as it sank to the bottom of the lake: her last piece of
memory written on the currents…
“…”
* * *
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* * *
