to know they’re being seen and
heard for who they are.
When you are present
If your job takes you away regularly,
start looking at ways to make your
home time a routine occurrence.
So you could decide that no matter
what occurs at work, you’ll always be
home at weekends or will only travel
every second week. Then when you’re
home, make that time matter.
• Set some definite Daddy-time
over the weekend that your child
knows they can look forward to
every week. Although there can be
a temptation to do something big
to ‘make up’ for not being there
during the week, it’s often better
and easier to keep it simple. And
with all that travel, you’ll probably
benefit from keeping it simple, too!
A trip to the playground or cinema,
or just some playtime at home, can
be exactly what your child needs. If
still a baby, then taking her out in
the stroller or just hanging out with
her getting to know her individual
quirks can be a lovely way to spend
an afternoon.
• Be consistent. Whatever you choose
to do with your child, make it
at the same bat-time, same bat-
channel. This gives your child the
reassurance they need that Daddy-
time is guaranteed time, no matter
how often his job takes him away
from home.
• Discuss any childrearing issues
that need resolving with your
partner. Let your child know that
all decisions are made by both
parents, even when you’re not there.
The more your child knows that
your absence isn’t an invitation to
usurp Mum’s decision, the better for
everyone.
Making plans
In the same way you would
automatically review any project
you’re working on at the office,
it’s a good idea to apply the same
logic here. Is your travel schedule
beginning to negatively impact on
your family relationships, whether
with your partner or kids, or both? If
so, it may be time to start planning
for the future.
• Speak to your company about
reducing your travel requirements.
If that’s not possible, are they open
to you working from home so that
you can at least be in the same space
as your child when you’re here?
• If your company is completely
against any change in your current
working situation, is there another
job out there that would allow you
to be home more whilst still ticking
all the boxes of your career plans?
It may be time to look for a more
flexible company that’s happy to
support and acknowledge the needs
of a family man.
• Or is it time to follow that dream
you’ve had of working for yourself?
What are the steps required to make
that dream a reality? Can you bring
your knowledge and expertise to
other companies as a consultant? Or
are there other people in the same
situation you could join up with in
creating the kind of company you
could all benefit from?
Being there for our children is
a balancing act all parents face,
and it can take time to get that
balance right. The willingness to be
there even when you’re not and the
commitment that takes may seem
daunting at first but is a huge step on
the path to a fulfilling father-child
connection. No matter how often your
job takes you away from your child, a
little bit of consistent action will allow
you to be there for them always.
June 2015
67
