A special
delivery for dads
Finding out that your family is expecting is a
wonderfully exciting time, filled with high emotion
and a lot of new learning. While the transition to
parenthood can be overflowing with joy, let’s be honest,
it can also be a trying time, writes
Kate Threlfall
.
F
or some couples, pregnancy
comes with ease and for
others it can be a difficult
process. Either way, most
couples spend the bulk of their energy
on getting pregnant and very little
time discussing how they are going to
split the work of parenting.
As a result, many end up leaning
towards the model of parenting that
they grew up with, as opposed to
consciously sorting out with their
partner who is going to do what –
both with the baby and the added
housework that infants entail. In
Hong Kong, where many have access
to high quality child- and home-
care, it appears that couples might
be even less likely to actively engage
in pre-birth conversations about co-
parenting. If this anecdotal evidence
is representative, it comes with a
cost. Research strongly suggests that
co-parenting efforts go a long way to
support father involvement.
Time for change
Father involvement is a powerful
force in healthy child development
and successful co-parenting buoys
marital satisfaction. Why do so many
in our society continue to conceive of
fathers as little more than secondary
parents? How does this limiting idea
perpetuate itself and how can we
change it?
High quality social science
research over the past forty years has
confirmed that father-involvement
acts as a protective factor against
many unwanted outcomes such as
maternal depression, breastfeeding
cessation and decline in marital
satisfaction. It is also a key factor
in many positive child outcomes
such as better health, grades, and
improved social-emotional and
cognitive development. We know the
importance of father involvement for
children and couples, yet in school
counselling offices and medical
clinics there is a common refrain
when learning about a new family:
“Where’s the dad?”
Let’s set the stage: for the majority
of new dads, the birth of a first child
is also the first time that they are
placed in the position of supporting a
loved-one through a serious medical
event. While the average age of
parenthood is slowly creeping up,
most first-time parents are young
enough that they haven’t yet had to
face significant medical events with
June 2015
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