if you model for your child how to
politely correct the mistake that was
made.
Children need to know who they
can rely on for support. Remind them
that there will always be parents or
other adults who can protect them
and take action on their behalf. As
well as encouraging them to have a
trusted adult who they can approach
at any time, teach them to stay close
to their friends – bullies will often
target those children who are on their
own.
Giving children a range of non-
violent, age-appropriate strategies
to deal with bullying can also be
empowering.
Simon’s Hook
by Karen
Gedig Burnett is an excellent book
that compares teasing to fishing.
Bullying victims have a number of
choices to make when they are being
teased: they can ignore it, they can
distract the bully or they can make a
joke of it, but the point of “not taking
the bait,” is not giving in to the bully
by giving them the reaction that they
seek. When children understand that
bullying is not a reflection on who
they are, they can then regulate and
control their response to put-downs
and bullying.
Enlist help
Most schools in Hong Kong have an
anti-bullying policy, and when they
are aware of a problem they handle
it very well. The majority of schools
also teach children about bullying,
how to handle it, how to report it,
and how to help the bully and the
bullied. So, bringing the school’s or
teacher’s attention to any incidences
of bullying is a good idea. Ensuring
that teachers are aware of trouble and
involving them is essential to stamping
out bullying that occurs at school,
but John Shanahan advises that it is
“best to have your child’s permission
first. Children are usually happier to
do this after they have tried to handle
the situation themselves.” Reminding
your child that you would seek help
from another adult such as a friend
or the police if you were the victim of
bullying can often reassure them that
they don’t need to do this on their
own.
Bullying can have horrendous
consequences if it is not identified and
dealt with sensitively and swiftly. In
some cases, children may benefit from
seeing a counsellor or psychologist to
help them process the bullying, and to
develop their resilience and bullying
prevention strategies. You can be one
of the greatest assets in your children’s
fight to beat the bullies – the strategies
you teach them will equip them for
the schoolyard and beyond.
Names have been changed for privacy.
